Sunday, June 12, 2005

For those without natural testicular fortitude

Some very rich, celebrity conscious inventor created neuticals. Yup, you read it right, neuticals: testicular implants for you neutered pet. Had I not made the mistake of having Dateline NBC on for background noise, I would never have known that people with too much money buy buy fake nuts for their pets. But noooooooooooo, I'm avoiding packing (Poland this time and, yes, I remember what happened last month when I procrastinated). Dateline is covering the pampered animals in "Pet Nation" which includes dress up (something I do only to the dog for the purposes of lame "A Pammianne Chanukah" invitations), Nicollette Sheridan running naked to rescue her lab from a cold pool (somehow I doubt the dog was really drowning), plastic surgey (a face lift for Ozzy's bulldog) and some asshole requesting gastic bypass for a pooch (newsflash, if the dog's overweight, you made it overweight - skip the scoobies every now and then). I have to admit, when it comes to pet-lunacy, ball-falsies beat hair extensions (Nicole Richie & Paris Hilton's pooches get them) hands down.

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