Saturday, September 27, 2008

Presidential Dreams: An American Fairy Tale

Once upon a time (a couple of days ago), in a land far away (a couple of states over) a Maverick named John McCain announced that, for the sake of the land's fundamentally strong economy, he would cast aside all his hard work towards his Presidential dreams to work with Congress lead the country's knights in rusty armor to save the land from the threatened horror of recession so its people would not whine anymore a full-blown depression.

John McCain said this
"It's time for both parties to come together to solve this problem,"
and this
"We must meet as Americans, not as Democrats or Republicans, and we must meet until this crisis is resolved,"
and then suspended his noble quest for the Presidency, except for advertising, sending his advisers and surrogates to talk to the media, and campaigning himself. Due to the urgency of the situation, the Great Senator rushed to the land's capital in haste to join the knights as they tried to screw the land's serfs and peasants avert disaster and save the land from financial ruin.

Everyone was so pleased that the Senator, a real live hero, would join the knights to save the day;
“We need leadership, not a photo op” said Harry Reid
“The threats to Americans, and their homes, savings and retirements, is not a partisan problem, and it won’t be fixed with a partisan approach” said Mitch McConnell

When John McCain finally made it to the palace Capitol he met with lesser nobles and then, with his trusty side-kick Sir Senator Lindsey Graham, he burst into the knights' luncheon and instead of stopping for some tasty Tex-Mex, he rose in front of the knights who had made some progress towards an agreement and spoke
"I appreciate what you've done here, but I'm not going to sign on to a deal just to sign the deal," McCain told the gathering, according to Graham and confirmed by multiple Senate GOP aides. "Just like Iraq, I'm not afraid to go it alone if I need to."


"You all put me on the hook for $700 billion"
The place erupted in chaos as the knights realized they may have been duped by those in league with the dark knight (and I don't mean Heath Ledger) whose goal was to have another succeed the lame-duck President trusted leader King George. Nobly, our hero went on to meet with King George and the dreaded dark knight at the White House.

At the White House meeting, McCain - attended to by only a campaign aide - met with the most powerful leaders of the lands' provinces, King George, and the dark knight - who brought along a member of his staff. The leaders started talking about the crisis and what could be done. Then, the dark knight turned to our hero and, in all his professorial splendor, said
"What do you think of the [insurance] plan, John?"
he asked again, and again, and our hero said nothing. Our hero, proud he had singlehandedly, foiled any plans of the various fractions of the land coming to a mutual agreement. Then he stood, walked toward the door, shook hands with the Marines and left.


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